New Year

I have often scoffed at the idea of New Year’s resolutions.  That they are mimetic in nature, initially robust but ultimately waning.  I have considered them lemming-like, in the insistence that one particular day among many can create conditions enough to motivate real change within a habitual human being.

I usually spend my New Year’s Eve appreciating the possibility innate in the turning of the calendar, without making resolutions and declarations about lifestyle changes.  Though I participate in the superstitions my Southern family taught me (on New Year’s Day: black-eyed peas for luck, collard greens for cash; of course, spend the first day of the year doing whatever you want to be doing for the rest of the year), I rarely tie myself to public testaments of obligation and life-changing.

This year, however, I am becoming a hypocrite, something my past few years have been full of, which I chalk up to experience and firsthand know-how, and not to a betrayal of the naive values founded in my youth.  I am committing to New Year’s Resolutions, not out of an earnest belief in the potential for the magicality of will power on certain annual days, but because of a belief that I, as a human being, am capable of change.  Un-static.

My first and chief New Year’s resolution is to write more.  To take more time for the intricacies of language, explorer-women I hope to be.  This is a love of mine, and any love I’ve ever cultivated has been vicious at times, a relationship that may take work but is so damn satisfying that it’s worth it.

And my second, though I hate to say it, is to quit smoking.  I have always known the very real consequences of smoking cigarettes, though I have smoked off and on since I was fifteen.  I want to quit for my health and longevity, but also because it’s expensive and makes your teeth gross.  This is a constant battle, me versus the Marlboros, though I hope this next year is mine.

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3 thoughts on “New Year

  1. Good luck! Are you planning on using any help, like patches or gum or anything, or are you going cold turkey? I’ve never really smoked, but always wondered how much the assistance, well, assisted.

    Writing every day is a great goal. Even if it’s on the blog, you can totally do it!

    • I am absolutely planning on using help! No way I could do this on my own. I quit for 2 years before, and I used patches to help then, so I’m thinking that’s what I’ll use again. They definitely made things a bit easier, but it was still one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. I’m noooot looking forward to this, to say the least :/

      Writing more often, however, is much less painful and–hopefully–I’ll have less trouble sticking to that one :)

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